they were chosen for you. and you were chosen for them...
in God's most perfect time.
in His perfect plan. a great plan. we must trust, and give glory to HIM.
it's hard sometimes not to get caught up in the daily routine, the daily grind of it all... sometimes wondering if what we do is really important? if what we do means anything? if we are doing the right thing, if we are raising them right? it's hard not to fear mistakes, not to dwell on mistakes. but if we can remember that we are truly chosen. hand picked for this child.... that we were born to raise them... born to be their mother... that it is a honor and a privilege... not a job. well... that just changes things doesn't it?
Mother's Day started out kind of rocky and to be honest, I didn't wake up in the best mood. It would have helped if I was able to see Liam before I left for work at 7:00am, but he was still sleeping. Yes, I had to work on my first Mother's Day.
When I had planned our event at work, I really didn't think it would be a big deal, but come to find out, my first Mother's Day was very special and emotional for me. I don't know why this caught me off guard. But as I was driving to work, I began to feel really resentful that Matt's parents were going to be there and see his smiling face instead of me. On a day that should be all mine. I had to quickly throw those feelings out the window and put a smile on my face for the 70 guests that were going to be attending our Mother's Day breakfast.
I truly love what I do, and I loved seeing our residents faces as they were being honored and loved for being mothers. This year was different though. I wanted to be the one getting kisses from my bouncing baby boy, and hearing his giggles. I know it's selfish, but I just couldn't shake the feeling that I "belonged" somewhere else.
We made it through the event, and it was very successful and rewarding. I was so excited to see Liam, but my resentful heart was preventing me from being happy. My dad always told me that it's a "choice" on what type of day you will have. If you choose to focus on the negative then, you will most definitely have a bad day. I did not want this to be a bad day. I made the "choice" to be happy and thankful for all the things I have. Especially my beautiful healthy little boy, who has made Mother's Day possible and special for me.
Once I saw Liam, it was very easy to enjoy my day. He was so excited to see me, and reached out for me when he saw me, giggling, and snuggling in my neck. He was also ready for his nap, so I think it made seeing me 10 times better for him. Oh how I love that sweet boy.
Matt came home from work with a beautiful plant from Liam and a special card. The card said "Mom" in his hand writing, and I automatically gave it to his mom thinking it was hers. Matt said "No, YOU'RE mom". I don't think being a mom has really sunk in yet for me, but I loved seeing the word "mom" addressed to me.
Later that day, Liam and I went to the Tea Bar to get my favorite salmon wrap. I had them make it to go, because we were going over to Jessica's house for a little picnic in the front yard. Just him and I. Jessica and the rest of the family were on a walk. I had everything set up, his blanket laid out, toys spread out, it was such a beautiful day, and he was SO happy. That didn't last long. As soon as I was going to take a bite of my much anticipated salmon wrap the sprinklers came on full blast!! I'm sure I looked like a skit on SNL as I tried to hurry up and juggle a 30lb baby in one arm, food, blanket, toys, and drink in the other, all the while getting soaked by sprinklers. Liam took it really well, he didn't even cry and just looked around with a "What the heck just happened" expression. I almost cried once we got to a dry spot. My food was ruined, our things were soaked, and this just wasn't the day I had imagined. Again, I made the "choice" to laugh about it. I looked at Liam and noticed his sparkling amazing blue eyes, and his smile that was telling me "Mom that was funny". So I laughed instead of cried, and I'm very happy that I made that choice. We will forever have our first Mother's Day special memory.
In honor of my mom, I wanted to write a little something just to recognize her and her many sacrifices:
I truly have the most AMAZING mother. She is the reason I am able to love Liam so fully, sweetly, and unconditionally. I had the best childhood, and pray everyday that I will be able to give Liam a childhood similar to mine. She is selfless, and has taken great care of Liam since I returned to work. She always has a sweet spirit, that is filled with delight and joy. Never complaining on days he has been fussy, or on days that she had other things to do. She is always there when we need her, and we appreciate and love her whole heartily. Thank you mom for being you. I love you, and Liam absolutely adores being with his "GoGo".
One last note. I have not mentioned the Almighty who is the reason I have so much joy on this Mother's Day. I praise Him daily for all the wonderful things he has allowed and given me. Especially allowing me to become a mother. It's a wonderful thing to know that I was CHOSEN to be this beautiful baby's mother. Thank you Jesus!!
Here are some pictures of the beautiful plant Liam and Daddy got for me
Such a beautiful Mother's Day. Thank you Liam for making me a Mommy. I love you.